When you look back on your life, do you find yourself remembering things that you wish you could forget?Mistakes and poor choices I've made. Priorities I got off track. Wrong paths I went down. Friendships that went sour. Moments that made me cry. Hurtful things said that broke my heart. Decisions I made with my children.
It's amazing all the hurt, sadness, difficulties, pain, and troubles the enemy can so quickly bring to your remembrance within mere seconds. What's more amazing is how every single one of those moments are not only covered by the blood of redemption, but each is also a defining moment in my life.
As I shuffle through those thoughts and memories, it's realized that I don't want to forget any of them. I don't want to be rid of so many moments that have taken a part in molding me, teaching me, forming me into the exact person in this very place God has me in and ultimately guiding me to this very moment in time.
Yes, many of the moments were awful and brought alligator tears. There were many gut wrenching cries that hurt so bad I literally felt as though my heart was breaking in two. There was anger and hatred that boiled up inside of me. There were decisions that lead me down the "coulda woulda shoulda" path, wondering if I had made the right decisions way back when would my children be in a better moment now. There were moments of ignorance, stubbornness, fear, stupidity, and foolishness.
But! Without all of those moments, decisions, trials, tears, frustration, fear, anger, and hurt there wouldn't be the learned lessons of humility, boldness, self control, forgiveness, love, friendship, faithfulness, honesty, compassion, wisdom, thankfulness and kindness.
Where in the world would I be without all those?? I would be right back at the beginning of it all, going through every bit of it again and again until those teachable moments finally sunk in, leading me to wiser ways of dealing with circumstances in my life, understanding of emotions, and ultimately trusting more in God and less in myself. There isn't one moment that I want to forget or have a chance to do over. That would void out that step of the refining process the Lord has brought me to and brought me through!
In order to get closer to God, not only do we have to seek Him, but we have to go through moments.... we have to go through the heat, if you will, so His image is reflected more and more through us as we are taught and guided through each and every situation we are in. My moments of learning aren't over... it's not over for any of us until the day we are called home, so I have to choose to learn from them and move on, not allow them to cause me additional grief or try to forget them.
Yes, I'm ever so thankful the Lord forgets... so much so that He tells us in His word as far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us (Psalm 103:12). But notice He hasn't provided a way for us to forget.
Sometimes the past can be haunting, causing us to be over guarded with walls built up, watching over our shoulders, and worried about stumbling, being hurt or misguided again. We need to allow our past and everything it contains to teach us in a way that would be glorifying to God! If we seek Him, and trust Him to guide us through our moments, decisions, and trials... the walls can come down and worry can be chased away from our lives.
Cherish yourself and every moment that has made you who you are... allow it to be another moment of your own refining process.
