Thursday, October 25, 2012

The Personal Pity Party - Do Not RSVP!

Today it happened. I showed up to the biggest pity party I've seen in quite some time.

There weren't any balloons, streamers, snacks, or gifts at this party, but boy was I completely wrapped up in it anyway.

Pity parties are pathetic, and yet, there I was full-fledge, right in the middle of one... two of my children even took witness to some of it this afternoon. My 100% concentration was on everything I was either in the middle of doing or [thought I] needed to do before the sun set on my day.

Endless issues with the washer repairman. Hand washing certain items needed until my washer is back in order. Getting paperwork figured out for the building inspector. Following up with the bank over issues that are holding us up with progress on the house. Cleaning up actual messes made during progress that has been made on the house. Sorting and getting rid of an attic full of stuff that's in the way. Chickens sneaking on my porch pooping everywhere. Getting my son to concentrate on his math, science, and English homework. Permission slips needing signed. Picking up wind-blown items from all over the yard. Filing paperwork so it doesn't come up missing when I need it most. Phone calls. Dishes. Sweeping. Mopping. Dusting. Garbage overflowing. Scrub the toilets. Unclog the bathroom sink. Feed the dogs. Oh, did I mention I forgot to lay something out for dinner in the midst of all of the above... and I still haven't had my stinkin' shower yet?!

I fled upstairs to "take a breather away from it all", and yet the party followed right along, and I sat in a chair basking in it... tears and all.

I can't do it all, my plate is too full, I'm exhausted, my back hurts, my head is pounding, there's only one of me, why can't anything go right just once, I need 24 more hours in my 24 hour day, why me??

See, it was pathetic.

But then I felt a little tap on my shoulder. Not a physical tap, but more like one of those that very well could have been a great big slap in the face, but since it was done with such love it came across as a little tap just enough to get my attention. I picked up my bible and opened it up. I don't believe in coincidences, so I'm quite positive the Lord intended for it to open up to Hebrews chapter 12.

It started with this...
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
(Hebrews 12:1-2)

Wouldn't you know it... I had allowed myself to get so flustered with all the "stuff" going on around me today, that I completely missed out on what the purpose of my day could have been all about. I wasted my energy and time, lashed out at my kids, and allowed it to be about me-me-me when that's not at all what my day should have been about.

Yes, I had stuff to do... but these are responsibilities that I have been given because the Lord knows I can handle it, especially with His help of peace and assurance. I allowed the enemy to take these responsibilities entrusted to me as a wife and mother, and turn them into a way to entangle me, hindering what could have been a wonderful day!

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 2:3-5)

Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world.
(Philippians 2:14-15)

I wasn't having the heart of a servant, or focusing on the attitude I was reflecting. Hebrews 12:15 says Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled... meaning that it was my choice today to decide whether or not to allow a bitter root to grow up and devour me and those around me. Pity parties feed those bitter roots.

So, if you're having a similar day, or perhaps just get easily caught up in pity parties, let's determine how to avoid these moments shall we?

  • Think about the good, not the bad! Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things (Philippians 4:8).

  • Have an attitude adjustment! Pity parties are so damaging to our day. Within minutes they can turn what could have been a great day that ended with a smile, into a hair pulling, stress elevating mess... making us look like we walked through a tornado of crazy. Was is worth it? Nope. It didn't make it better, it just wasted time. The issues and "stuff" are all still there to be dealt with. Ask the Lord to open your eyes to those pity party fits before they set in, so they can be stopped in their tracks.

  • Take a break! It's okay to take a walk, pick up a book (extra Bible reading time!), or just sit and chill with a glass of iced tea! Walk away from what's causing the urge to yank your hair out and collect your thoughts. Decide that the moment or circumstances will not effect your day in a negative manner.

  • Follow the advice of Hebrews 12:2 that I quoted above... Look to Jesus! Think about all the awful moments He suffered for me and you! How pathetic does our situation truly look when compared to the life He lived here for us?

  • Write it down. Jot down every single thing that is creeping into your mind trying to snag your day away from you. Every circumstance that the enemy is trying to drag you down through. Then walk away from that piece of paper and attack your day with a shield of faith. It's quite possible you'll come across that note a few days later and have a giggle at how frazzled you almost allowed such petty situations get you.

  • Perhaps it really is something big going on in your life. Pray for wisdom over the situation(s) and leave it there. Deal with it as the Lord gives you insight on how to handle it... and don't touch it until then.

    Bottom line my friends, when you get a personal invitation to a pity party... do not RSVP! Instead, embrace your day and be thankful for who you were made to be and what you are entrusted to accomplish in it.

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm not going to take the time for a spell check or grammar review, I have a couple kiddos to apologize to...

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